1 00:00:14,767 --> 00:00:16,867 - We'll be back to our never-ending Madea marathon 2 00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,600 after a word from our sponsors. 3 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,500 Chicken, nigga! Bwah! Bwah! 4 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,533 Brrrrah! Yeah! 5 00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:36,600 Only at Wapeye's. 6 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,133 - 1738! 7 00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,500 - Man, these rappers have so many diamonds in their mouth, 8 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,200 you can't understand anything they're saying. 9 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,500 - That's why it's called music. 10 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:45,833 - Yeah, it ain't about the lyrics, 11 00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:47,667 it's about the emotion. 12 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,467 - Lyrics is for white people anyways. 13 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,867 - You under-educated negroes, 14 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,567 and Milk, sadden me. 15 00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:54,233 You guys are perpetuating stereotypes 16 00:00:54,233 --> 00:00:56,200 by listening to this bogus mumble rap. 17 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,867 This is exactly why my group Afroanonymous 18 00:00:57,867 --> 00:00:58,933 has been working around the globe 19 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,433 to make black lives matter. 20 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:01,867 - Man, why you always fuckin' up my high 21 00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:03,300 with all that positive 22 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,300 "black people can do better" bullshit? 23 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,767 - Yeah, you Steve Harvey-ass nig. 24 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:07,767 Ahhh! 25 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:08,767 - You talk a big game with 26 00:01:08,767 --> 00:01:10,500 all that militant mumbo-jumbo, 27 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,567 but what have you done besides pay the rent? 28 00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:13,967 - And stock the fridge? 29 00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:15,567 - And pay child support? 30 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,433 - Well, a Commandant from the Congo was so impressed 31 00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:18,900 by my Twitter hashtags 32 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,900 that he wants my help overthrowing an evil dictator. 33 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,433 So I'm going to Africa. 34 00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:23,733 - Little nigga, you eight! 35 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,533 You can't just decide to go to Africa! 36 00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:27,367 Who gon' take care of me nigga, damn!? 37 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,967 - This is the opportunity of a lifetime: 38 00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:30,900 a chance to go to the cradle of civilization, 39 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:32,267 the source of humanity, 40 00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:33,767 the motherland... - Wapeye's? 41 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:35,367 - Do you guys hear me? 42 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,600 I'm gonna go do something Malcolm, Martin, and Spike Lee 43 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,933 could never do: I'm gonna save Africa. 44 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,667 - Aye caa, I got us some diamonds and chicken. 45 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:46,700 - Gimme that! Slow down! 46 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,300 Don't take all the good pieces! 47 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,500 - Stay black. 48 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:55,267 Word! 49 00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,567 - I can't believe Malik left you and Montrel 50 00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:58,900 at the crib by yourselves. 51 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:00,867 - Yeah, me neither. That's neglectful. 52 00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:03,333 - But hold up, isn't this a good thing? 53 00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:04,633 - Yeah, with Malik out the way, 54 00:02:04,633 --> 00:02:06,733 we can finally get up on some THOT-y pimpin'. 55 00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,900 - Now we got a after-hours spot to take the breezies 56 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,100 after Rochella's Freaks and Skeets party. 57 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,067 - Now that I have your attention, 58 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,867 I have bad news, guys. 59 00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:20,433 Due to a debatable tax evasion case, 60 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,067 Uncle Sam put a boot on my house. 61 00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,500 So there's no party. 62 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,667 - That sucks. 63 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,367 - Now what are we gonna do? 64 00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:29,667 - Aw, man, I was gonna get my V-card punched at that party. 65 00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:30,867 - Again, bitch? 66 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:31,967 - You hear that, Grove? 67 00:02:31,967 --> 00:02:33,833 Cindy was finna let us smash. 68 00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:36,333 - Hold up. What you mean, "us"? - Shotgun! 69 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,067 - Don't you see this THOTportunity? 70 00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,600 We need to throw our own party. 71 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,633 - I don't know, my nigs. 72 00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:42,067 My place is in the hood. 73 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:43,867 The only parties that go down on my block 74 00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:44,933 is search parties. 75 00:02:44,933 --> 00:02:46,067 - True dat, but whoever throws 76 00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:47,067 the party of the year 77 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,600 becomes legendary. 78 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,067 - And you know with that home court advantage, 79 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,067 you'll be able to take Cindy to your bed 80 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:54,900 and show her your temperpenis. 81 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,733 - Ooh, Cindy and Grover. 82 00:02:56,733 --> 00:02:58,567 - Uh, maybe I should have the party, 83 00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:00,767 because, you know, that's what popular students 84 00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,067 are supposed to do. 85 00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:03,767 And I'm the most popular guy here, 86 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,067 - ManComeOnRandyYouTrippin Ain'tNobodyKnowAboutYou. 87 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:08,467 - Hey, guys. I've got an announcement. 88 00:03:08,467 --> 00:03:10,167 - Hold on to that. I'ma let you finish. 89 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,133 Hey, everybody, the party is back on... 90 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:14,800 at Grover's house! 91 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,567 all: Grover! Grover! Grover! 92 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,167 - Oh, my goodness. I can't believe this. 93 00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,067 We're in Africa. Isn't this great? 94 00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:32,767 You're right. We should just take it all in. 95 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,633 - And who are you? 96 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,100 You cannot be one of my warriors. 97 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,100 Your chest is small, your skin is soft, 98 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,100 and you have both of your arms and feet. 99 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:43,567 - I'm Malik from Afroanonymous. 100 00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:44,767 - Who? Oh, yes. 101 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:45,867 The American revolutionary 102 00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:47,600 that gives good hashtags. 103 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,433 You stay, how you say, "woke." - That's me. 104 00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:52,500 - As you were told, a powerful evil 105 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,067 has descended upon the great continent of Africa, 106 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:56,633 corrupting the minds of the people 107 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:59,100 with its juvenile, ghetto, and questionable antics. 108 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,167 Its ratchetry knows no bounds. 109 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:04,767 We will require your great war strategies to conquer it. 110 00:04:04,767 --> 00:04:06,667 - Madea?! She's a fictitious character. 111 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:07,900 - No, no, no. 112 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,933 Tyler Perry is the fictitious one. 113 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:11,633 Madea is very real. 114 00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:14,067 Sometimes she likes to dress as a straight man. 115 00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:15,600 She needs to be destroyed. 116 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,567 - Wow, you want me to take out Madea? 117 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:19,067 I won't just be saving Africa. 118 00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:20,767 I'll be saving all of Black culture! 119 00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:22,833 Ha, ha! Yeah! 120 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,867 - I can't wait to try these new Dos Beckies. 121 00:04:31,867 --> 00:04:33,767 - This party gon' be legendary. 122 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:35,900 The house is clean, the drinks is mean, 123 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,700 and my meat's finna be seen. 124 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,633 Bars! - Yep, we posin' to be chosen. 125 00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:43,600 And sippin' for a tippin'. Bars! 126 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,500 - Yup, I'ma put my exclamation point 127 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:46,600 in A'pos'trafee'a 128 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,167 and my thumb in her semicolon. 129 00:04:48,167 --> 00:04:49,700 That's sexual grammar, homey. 130 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,567 - Hey, y'all make yourselves at home. 131 00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:54,100 Don't mess up shit. 132 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:55,567 I ain't trying to hear my little brother's mouth 133 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:56,567 when he get back. 134 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,500 - Yo casa es our casa, caa. 135 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,133 - Hold up, 'Trel. I thought you was gonna 136 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,967 smash that bad one in Diamond Bar. 137 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,233 - Apparently "Flo-Rida's" in town again. 138 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:05,900 Man, she say that bullshit 139 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,667 around the same time every month. 140 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,067 - Ain't no blood ever stop me, caa. 141 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,867 - Well, I was thinking about having a few friends over. 142 00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:14,800 - Nigga, you wit all your friends. 143 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,733 I'm in charge when our little brother's gone. 144 00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,200 Ya feel me? 145 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,933 Me and the homies ain't goin' nowhere. 146 00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,933 - Aye, don't just stand there looking stupid. 147 00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:24,767 Hand your Crip one of them Dos Beckies. 148 00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,067 And not the red one, caa. 149 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,900 Aye! 150 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,633 - Nigga, you ain't got nothing on these. 151 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:34,700 Ugh! 152 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:39,067 - Montrel and his boys are eating all our eats 153 00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,867 and drinking all our drinks. 154 00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:42,700 There's not a chip left in the house. 155 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,733 - The party's finna start, and these old-ass relics 156 00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,600 finna scare away all the beezies. 157 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,600 Or worse, give 'em that antique dick. 158 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,933 - Everybody calm down. 159 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,167 I got an idea. 160 00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,533 - Yo. 161 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:58,267 Hey, Montrel, guess who stopped bleeding? 162 00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:00,767 - Champika? - Yeah, baby. 163 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,833 So if you're sitting on the couch smoking weed 164 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:05,300 with a lot of dusty-ass, broke, ignorant niggas, 165 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,733 y'all should get in the car 166 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,600 and come to Diamond Bar 167 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,667 and get some of this dirt star. 168 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,667 - Oh word! 169 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,100 - Aye, let's roll, caa. - Move it, move it. 170 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,300 Oh caa, I got first, caa. 171 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,300 Diamond Baaaa... 172 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,200 Aaarrr! 173 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,133 - I have the chance to take down 174 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,067 that megalomaniac and restore value, 175 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,300 self-respect, and awareness to the Black community. 176 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,700 No more "Love and Hip-Hop." 177 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:30,900 No more Wendy Williams. 178 00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,100 No more BET. 179 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,200 I'll be a Civil Rights Legend. 180 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,233 - Hellur! Hey, Oprah. 181 00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:45,700 We's about to make my 20th movie this week. 182 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,233 No, I'm not wearing your dress. 183 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:48,867 I am wearing her dress. 184 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,200 I don't know where that dress is. 185 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,067 Ask Gayle. I got a movie to shoot. 186 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:54,667 Places, everyone. Places. 187 00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:55,900 - I have a new movie for you: 188 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,067 "Madea Goes to Hell." 189 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,167 - Too late. Already wrote it at lunch. 190 00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,900 Now where'd you come from, little nigga baby? 191 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,933 - I'm Malik. I've been sent here to kill you. 192 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:08,067 - Oh, this shit again? 193 00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:11,267 Why does every Brillo pad head muthafucka wanna kill me? 194 00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:14,933 Lee Daniels, Stedman Graham, and for some reason, 195 00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:17,433 the delectable Odell Beckham, Jr. 196 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:19,067 I don't know what I do to him. 197 00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:21,400 Oh, wait, now I remember. 198 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,133 I'm so bad. 199 00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:24,333 So look, nigga baby, 200 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:25,767 you go wait up there in the castle 201 00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:27,300 while I finish these two movies, 202 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:30,067 and we can chat about all this killing and whatnot. 203 00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:32,267 Michael Jai White, take him away. 204 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:45,333 - Yo, bro, this party lit, homey! 205 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:48,067 - Now all I need is Cindy to see that I'm the man. 206 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,433 - Why you worried about Cindy 207 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:51,500 when you got these titties in your face? 208 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,933 - Yeah, what kind of host is you? 209 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:54,467 That's real rude, my dude. 210 00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:56,300 Put some respeck on them milk makers. 211 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,800 - Whoa, Cindy, why you look 212 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,167 like you been churnin' butter? 213 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,167 - I had to dress like this to get out of the house. 214 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:08,133 My dad thinks that I'm at TD Fake's Hymenkeeper's Revival. 215 00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:09,433 - A'ight den. 216 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:11,367 - Oh, that's my song! 217 00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:14,967 - So you not gonna ask me to dance? 218 00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,967 It's my song too! 219 00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,500 - Well, you should give it back. 220 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,233 - Hey, shit crew. 221 00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:27,067 Let's get this party started. 222 00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:30,267 Aye, yo, fellas, help. 223 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,067 - Stop being such dick-weeds. 224 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,333 What's your problemo? - Ain't no problem. 225 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,067 We've just reached maximum cock-pacity. 226 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:41,400 - So kick rocks, mark-ass nigs. 227 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,467 Argh! 228 00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,667 - Yo , fellas, you smell something? 229 00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:49,200 'Cause I smell pussy! 230 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,067 - Montrel, what are you doing here? 231 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,067 You know Flo-Rida's in town. 232 00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,467 - Flo-Rida, you here for real? 233 00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:01,533 You ain't her period. 234 00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:03,200 - Yeah, I come down here every month 235 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,200 This my house. 236 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,700 - I think we got catflipped, caa. 237 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,233 - Don't nobody catflip 'Trelly. 238 00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,400 I'ma call the number back 239 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,600 and see what the fuck is going on. 240 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:16,067 - Who dis is? - Jamal! 241 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:18,100 You the one who sent us on this wild goose chase? 242 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,400 Ooooh, I'ma fuck you up when I get back. 243 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,367 - But that wasn't me. It was Grover. 244 00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:24,600 Hello? Shit! 245 00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,500 - Mmm, okay. 246 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,333 Come on, Grover. Just go over there. 247 00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:35,233 It's your party, your house. 248 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,433 She ain't gon' say no. 249 00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:39,300 What if she do say no? 250 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,233 Then you just got shot down in your own house 251 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,433 at your own party. 252 00:09:42,433 --> 00:09:43,900 Nah, I better just stay here. 253 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,900 What the... 254 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,967 - I'm trapped, Grover. Help me! 255 00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,800 - Grover! - Oh, shit! 256 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,500 - I've been looking all over for you. 257 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,333 Aren't your gonna make time for some fun? 258 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,600 It is your party. 259 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,767 And I thought you said you could dance. 260 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,933 - I can. - Well, show me, then. 261 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,067 all: Yeah! - Okay. 262 00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,767 - Damn, Grover. 263 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:29,833 I didn't know you could throw a party like this. 264 00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:31,667 - I can do a lot of things you don't know about. 265 00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,100 - Oh, yeah? Like what? 266 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,333 - Grover, my nig. 267 00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,567 I really need your help. 268 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:39,933 - I know what you about to ask, 269 00:10:39,933 --> 00:10:41,300 and the answer is no. 270 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,933 I'm about to take Cindy to my room, 271 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,433 so you gonna have to roll Medina's big ass to the garage. 272 00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,000 - It's not that. It's just-- 273 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,033 - Hey, man, I'm working right now. 274 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:50,700 - Dis nigga! 275 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,067 - Well, that's just great. 276 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:57,533 I guess we're not shutting the party down. 277 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,767 Let's just go home and jerk off. 278 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,633 Whose house this time? Yours? 279 00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:02,867 Yours? Who's with me? 280 00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,367 - ManWeAlwaysJerkOff AtMyHouseMan 281 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:05,833 I'mTryingToGetAllTheStains OffTheCouch. 282 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,133 - You got a better idea? - Uhh! 283 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,933 - Oh, shit, what happened to the lights? 284 00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:13,700 - Oh, shit, Montrel's here! 285 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:14,800 He gon' kill me! 286 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,767 Sorry. Damn. My bad. 287 00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,700 Oh, girl, you got some big-ass titties. 288 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,200 - Aye, man, fuck you. 289 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,233 - Sorry 'bout that. 290 00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,667 - Now what? 291 00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,667 I hope Malik paid the electric bill. 292 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:26,100 - Well, too bad it's dark. 293 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,067 I was ready to see what you was working with. 294 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:31,067 - Oh, word? I'll be right back. 295 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,233 - You got a saboteur, my nig. 296 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:34,867 Ahhh! - Randy bitch ass. 297 00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:36,533 - Well, we got to get these lights back on, 298 00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:39,533 or this going down as the most un-legendary party in history. 299 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,067 - I know. Malik's trap house, 300 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,100 He got a generator. 301 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,200 - Let us handle that. 302 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,167 You go warm up Cindy's THOT pot. 303 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,267 - "A place where even dreams believe." 304 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,400 That makes no sense. 305 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,533 - Ain't got to make no sense. 306 00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:54,233 It was written by the man/woman himself. 307 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,833 Logic is her kryptonite. 308 00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:57,233 - Wait a minute, you're Michael Jai White. 309 00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:59,333 - Uh, who? Oh, yeah, that's me. 310 00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:05,800 - Riiight. 311 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,433 Michael Jai White, you were Spawn, 312 00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,367 and that cool gangster dude in "The Dark Knight." 313 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,633 You've been in about 4,000 straight-to-DVD movies. 314 00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:12,833 What happened to you, brother? 315 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,233 - I busted my ass learning karate and shit, 316 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:17,433 but Hollywood don't want no strong black man. 317 00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:19,967 They want half-men like Omar Gooding. 318 00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:21,433 - Come on, man, you know she's evil. 319 00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:23,300 She destroyed the minds of black people in America. 320 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,067 Now she's trying to turn Africa into Atlanta. 321 00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:27,233 - Aflantica? Zulus in high heels? 322 00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:28,867 Hey, man, stop making me think. 323 00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:30,867 As long as I can get paid and take care of my family, 324 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,233 I don't give a fuck. 325 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,400 - A'ight, let's go back in. 326 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,700 - Uh, that's okay. 327 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,633 Uh, I'ma just chill in the trap house. 328 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:42,867 - This the party of the year. 329 00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,267 All those drunk breezies in there, 330 00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,700 and you gonna hide in the treehouse? 331 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,333 - Uh, yeah, you know me. 332 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,267 I stay hittin' the trees. 333 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:50,633 - What the fuck is up with you? 334 00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,800 - Montrel found out I was the one that called him. 335 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,100 He said he's gonna kill me. 336 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,567 - Man, we homies. 337 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,900 We ain't finna just let Montrel beat the brakes off you. 338 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,300 We got yo back. - This party's turnt. 339 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,900 What happened to my panties? 340 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,933 - You understand I got to leave you, right? 341 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,167 It ain't personal. 342 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:06,100 It's pussy. 343 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,133 - Now, where were we? 344 00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:16,700 - Where's my begotten Scrilla seed?! 345 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,133 - Oh, shit. - Ohhh! 346 00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,700 - Who dat? - Cindy, nigga. Come on, now. 347 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,933 - Uh, she ain't here, Pastor. 348 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:25,200 - If I find out you lying, Milky Toast, 349 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,967 I'm kill everybody in this muthafucka. 350 00:13:27,967 --> 00:13:28,900 - Oh, Lord. 351 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,600 - Now where is she?! 352 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,933 - If my dad finds out I'm here, 353 00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,300 I'll be grounded tell Jesus comes back. 354 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:37,967 I'll never experience my first time having sex, 355 00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:39,733 my first time turning down anal, 356 00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:41,667 my first time saying yes to anal. 357 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:43,133 - Don't worry, I got you. 358 00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,367 - You know, Grover, 359 00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:45,967 most guys woulda got the hell out of here. 360 00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:47,067 But you a real one. 361 00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,233 If he's gonna kill you, 362 00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:51,200 the least I can do is give you a hug. 363 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,333 Damn, is that you or the broom? 364 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,200 - God, I hope it's me. 365 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,633 - Now look, Cindy ain't here, buster-ass Scrilla. 366 00:13:58,633 --> 00:14:00,233 I heard she was at a friend's house... 367 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,333 either reading the Bible 368 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:02,933 or exploring their bodies and shit. 369 00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,067 So to answer your question, 370 00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:06,067 nah, homey, she ain't here. 371 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:09,100 - Well, I'm predisposed to trust all White people. 372 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,100 - Man, you a hero. 373 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:15,067 I'm surprised he didn't scare the shit out of you. 374 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,833 - Ain't nothing to a legend. 375 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,167 - 'Allo, Malik. 376 00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,900 - Who are you? - I'm Idris Elba. 377 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,733 This is Blair Underwood. - What's up? 378 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,800 - Chap over there is Mike Epps. 379 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,267 - Man, I'm here for the weed. 380 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,067 - Look, we heard Michael Jai White 381 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,133 talking to you, and we want to help you out. 382 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,533 - That's great. Thank you, my brothers. 383 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:35,800 But if you could help me escape, 384 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:36,967 why are you still here? 385 00:14:36,967 --> 00:14:39,067 - Oh, no, mate, we're not locked up. 386 00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:41,233 We've all done shitty Madea movies, 387 00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:43,167 and we're hiding until that shit blows over 388 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,167 and we can start getting roles again. 389 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,767 - Man, I'm here for the weed. 390 00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:49,200 - Right. Okay, so how do I get out? 391 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,933 - Blair, will you do the honors, mate? 392 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,333 - You have to kill Madea. 393 00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:55,967 Then maybe we can stop hiding. 394 00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:57,767 Damn, I miss working with white people. 395 00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:59,600 - I promise. Stay up, my brothers. 396 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,367 Peace, Malik. 397 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,467 - Hey, Commandant-- - Ahhh! 398 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,533 Malik! 399 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:10,633 You scared me, nigga. 400 00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:12,067 Please announce yourself next time. 401 00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:13,433 Have you killed the Evil One yet? 402 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:15,067 - I was on my way to him-her now. 403 00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,367 What's with all the fireworks? 404 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:17,633 - For the new diamond mine. 405 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,067 - Diamond mines? - Yes. 406 00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:20,533 And once you kill Madea, 407 00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:23,067 we will take over her land and all of her employees. 408 00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:24,900 With no more shitty movies to make, 409 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,400 they will have no choice but to work for me. 410 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,700 - That's what this is all about! 411 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,567 Using black people to mine your diamonds. 412 00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:33,267 - Absolutely. With the recent rise of Mumble Rap, 413 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,700 my business is booming. 414 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,800 My plan is to put diamonds in the mouth 415 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,600 of every nigga in America. 416 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,833 We will never understand a rap lyric ever again. 417 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:45,067 Who knows, maybe Fetty Wap will become president. 418 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,733 - Oh, my God. 419 00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:51,267 You are worse than Madea! 420 00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:54,067 I will not participate in the degradation of my people. 421 00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:55,067 - Oh, you will-- 422 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,167 or you die. 423 00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,933 - Okay, okay. 424 00:15:58,933 --> 00:16:01,300 I'll do it. 425 00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:07,067 - ManPleaseExplainToMeWhy WeGivingTheShitCrewAllThisBeer 426 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,300 WhenWeShouldBeFuckingEmUp. 427 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,200 - You see, Mumblemouth, when you roll a keg, 428 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,733 it fills up with foam and explodes--boom! 429 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:15,667 Bye-bye, Shit Crew party. 430 00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,100 - Oh, shit! 431 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,833 - What the fuck is y'all doing here? 432 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,467 We still full up on dicks. 433 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:25,433 But actually--aye, y'all, do we need any assholes? 434 00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,533 all: No. - Nope, all good. 435 00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,067 You're right. 436 00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,767 We were assholes. 437 00:16:30,767 --> 00:16:33,333 But we brought you this to make up for it. 438 00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:35,500 - Well, we is a little low on drank. 439 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,700 Bring it in. 440 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:38,700 - Hey, anybody want a "brewski"? 441 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:41,400 Grover, I'll let you do the honors. 442 00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,967 - Noooo! 443 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:57,067 I saved the party. Legends! 444 00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:02,667 - Damn, the house is jacked. 445 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,167 Malik ain't never gonna let me stay home alone again. 446 00:17:05,167 --> 00:17:06,600 - Ha, ha! House ruined! 447 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,833 Party's over! 448 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:09,100 You're gonna go home and get in trouble 449 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,700 for smelling like beer. 450 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:14,500 - He's right. We better take our clothes off. 451 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,567 Whoo! 452 00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:23,433 - Shh, don't fight it. 453 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,167 Just let it happen. 454 00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:30,167 - Cut, cut, cut! 455 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,733 You call that acting?! 456 00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:34,067 - But Madea, we ain't got no scripts. 457 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,867 - Ohhh, "I ain't got no script." 458 00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,967 Execute him. - Hwah! 459 00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:41,333 - Hold up. Ain't nobody dying today. 460 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,767 - Nigga baby! 461 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:44,067 How did you get out? 462 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,600 - Now's not the time, Mr. Mrs. Madea. 463 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,333 I need you to come with me if you want to live. 464 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,300 Look, so maybe you don't make the best films, 465 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,167 but you employ thousands of people. 466 00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,333 I mean, you don't pay 'em nothing, 467 00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:53,800 and health care's non-existent, 468 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,700 but you give 'em opportunity, and you give 'em hope. 469 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,800 You're a necessary evil, 470 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,367 which is why I must save you. 471 00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,100 - From who now? 472 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,533 - Me, that's who. 473 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:02,733 - Hmm. 474 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,367 What does this delicious, 475 00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,367 rugged Hersey nigga want? 476 00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:08,600 - This delicious, rugged Hersey nigga 477 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,667 wants you dead. 478 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,300 Prepare to die. 479 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,800 - This is gonna happen. 480 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,733 In about 30 seconds, there'll be a huge explosion. 481 00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:16,300 You'll be startled by it, and that'll allow me 482 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,567 to kick you in the shin, go into a back flip, 483 00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:19,833 whose momentum will carry me and Madea 484 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:20,933 into a nearby river, 485 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,467 escaping the fiery carnage. 486 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,067 - Yeah, right. 487 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,167 - I've got that Danny Glover looking muthafucka 488 00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:30,633 locked at six o'clock! 489 00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:32,833 - Nobody fucks with the homey and lives! 490 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:35,500 So you get a bomb, and you get a bomb, 491 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,800 and you get a bomb! 492 00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,267 Ha, ha! 493 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,700 - Apocalyptic, zombie Jesus. 494 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:50,200 Thank you, God, for saving me. 495 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,267 You know what? 496 00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:53,533 I owe for saving me, nigga-- 497 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,967 I mean Malik. 498 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,600 Whatever you want, it is yours. 499 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,267 - Can you stop making those bad movies? 500 00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:01,633 - All that money I make, honey? 501 00:19:01,633 --> 00:19:03,167 Get the fuck outta here. Hellur! 502 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,233 - First you steal my party, 503 00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,467 then my girl. 504 00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,200 Now I'm gonna steal your asshole. 505 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,533 Prepare to get fisted! 506 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,133 all: Huh? 507 00:19:18,133 --> 00:19:19,233 - You know what I mean. 508 00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:20,300 I'm gonna beat him up. 509 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,500 Fuck all of you! 510 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:22,600 Night, night, Shit Crew! 511 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,467 - Aye, yo, hold on, little bitch. 512 00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,433 You think you 'bout to Ike Turner my little brother? 513 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,200 - 'Trel the only nigga to hit that nigga. 514 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,900 But I do get to hit you, caa. 515 00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:33,800 Y'all wanna catch this fade too? 516 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,533 - Absolutely not. 517 00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:36,733 - Aye, check this out. 518 00:19:36,733 --> 00:19:38,267 The party's over! 519 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,267 Aye, hold up. 520 00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,600 Where the fuck y'all going? 521 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,067 Y'all little niggas better get to cleaning. 522 00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:45,133 And I want it to be spotless in this bitch. 523 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,200 - You know, you don't have to stay and do this. 524 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,633 - It's the least I can do 525 00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:52,367 since my dad almost killed you. 526 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,700 Huh, I guess it wasn't the broom. 527 00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,100 - Aw, come on, bruh. 528 00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,233 - Oh, hell naw. 529 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:00,833 Flo-Rida's the only nigga 530 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,233 that's getting ass tonight. 531 00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:03,567 Now get to sweepin'. 532 00:20:06,067 --> 00:20:07,133 - Aye, 'Trel. 533 00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:08,133 I'm sorry for sending you 534 00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,600 on that wild hoe chase. 535 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,800 - Aye, don't sweat it, Grover. 536 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,500 If you can't lie to your family, 537 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,733 who can you lie to? 538 00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:17,000 Now let me show you something else families do. 539 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,067 We give ass whoopin's. 540 00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:19,933 - Uh! Ow, buster. 541 00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:21,800 - What's up, negroes? I'm home. 542 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,133 - Malik? - Daddy! 543 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,467 - Calm down, calm down. 544 00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:25,800 I'm glad to see y'all too. 545 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,267 - Did you get us anything, Daddy? 546 00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:30,533 - Why are there ashes on the shirts? 547 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,500 - Yeah, why it smell like cocoa butter and napalm? 548 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,867 - Aye, you want the shirts or what? 549 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,500 - Yeah. - Thanks, my nigga. 550 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,300 - Where my shirt at, caa? 551 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,933 - Wow, the house looks clean. 552 00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:41,567 I guess you guys can be responsible. 553 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,533 - How was Africa? - Let's just say, 554 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,700 nothing's changed. 555 00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,900 - Uh, you might want to leave the room. 556 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,067 I'm about to watch this new Madea joint, 557 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,500 "Madea Unchained." 558 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,833 It's the one with bad acting and has no script. 559 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:54,600 - Scoot over. 560 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,133 - Who is that nigga on that nag? 561 00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:59,100 - Hellur! 562 00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:00,400 - Aye, may not be that funny, 563 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,767 but at least my people are working. 564 00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:04,700 - Man, I'm here for the weed.